Lori Carpenos & Associates

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What Does Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence have to do with Love?

My low self esteem is ruining my relationship.

I have heard that from many clients through the years.

But what does self-esteem and self-confidence have to do with Love?

A whole heck of a lot actually...

1.) People with healthy self-esteem and self-confidence tend to:

  • not take things personally and so rarely, if ever, get angry

  • treat other people well because they're less self-focused and not thinking they have to be better, than who they already are, to be accepted

  • expend less energy beating themselves up so they have more energy to love others!

  • love themselves because they are more in touch with their strengths, not the least of which is the same Universal Intelligence we're all plugged into, most people just don't know it - yet.

2) People with healthy self-esteem and self-confidence:

  • value the love that comes from them more than they value the love their partners feel for them

  • realize that love is an inside job - each of us is only capable of feeling love that is within us and it’s the same love that is available to everyone!

  • realize that each person can only express the amount of love they have that is not squelched by their own self-created insecurities.

  • realize that everyone gets insecure from time to time, some more than others and much less by the many students of the Principles, world -wide.

  • realize that this understanding is available to every one on the planet who can read, hear, listen with an open heart and an open mind. Everyone was born with that capacity - if you can find it…


So then how do I get healthy self-esteem and more self-confidence?
Wouldn't that be the natural question after the line of reasoning above - who wouldn't want to have more energy to love and less to beat themselves up over?

The answer is most likely not what you think:

There is no technique, strategy, or incantation you do or say that will give you or anyone else self-confidence and self-esteem; and here’s why:

It's because you (and everyone on the planet) already have all the self-esteem anyone could ever need in life - it's buried underneath insecure thinking. But for the negative personal self-talk we feed ourselves with, we are present in the moment. Underneath our negative self talk lies a totally impersonal Love of Creation that we are privy to, a love that is so deep, it can't be explained, we just know it when we feel it - everyone does! Whether they realize that fact or not.

Is Low Self Esteem Ruining Your Relationship?

  • Do you make negative assumptions that your partner says are inaccurate?

  • Do you feel inadequate at times?

  • Do you get your feelings hurt often?

  • Do you argue and fight rather than have heart to heart talks?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then you have been under the false assumption that you are not enough. Self-esteem and self-confidence is our natural state; if you don’t believe me, just observe any infant or toddler before they start thinking negative things about themselves.

Self-confidence and self-esteem is not something you can will or talk yourself into - you have to SEE it in the form of insight. The best suggestion I have - to stimulate your Insight Making-Machine, as opposed to your Thinker-Upper (I think I just channeled Dr. Seuss) is to get your hands on a CD, DVD, Book or Talk by the late Sydney Banks. Mr. Banks is the source of this understanding about human life; it's always best to go directly to the source. Once you’ve done that then get ahold of The Secret of Love and of course call me if you’d like to dig deeper, I can arrange for a retreat that would be perfect for you. And by all means join me, Dr. Jack Pransky and Dr. Nicole Beasley for a weeklong Retreat in the Caribbean - Dec. 7 - 13, 2019 There’s nothing better than being in a relationship with someone who understands how the human experience really works!