He Had Me at Hello… and Lost Me at Indifference
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This is a sequel to:“Gifted then Ghosted”
For months, Kasper and I texted almost daily. Sometimes multiple times a day. Then suddenly… nothing. Silence.
Years ago, that would have devastated me. I would have replayed every conversation, searched for meaning, and wondered what I had done wrong.
But this time something unexpected happened:
I didn’t need to know why.
I simply let it be.
Not because I was suppressing my feelings or pretending to be “spiritual,” but because something in me had genuinely changed. Apparently, I had come to understand more deeply the inside-out nature of life — that our feelings don’t come from other people or circumstances, but from our own thinking in the moment.
That realization changes everything.
Kasper and I had shared deep conversations — naturally I would have preferred for them to continue. But when the communication stopped, I noticed I wasn’t suffering the way I once would have. I wasn’t trying to “let go.” I simply wasn’t creating painful stories about it in my own mind.
That surprised me.
It felt like my old overthinking brain had quietly disappeared overnight.
Months later, I sent him a dramatic black-and-white marathon photo I knew he’d appreciate. He responded immediately. As it turned out, life had simply pulled him elsewhere for a while. We slipped back into regular conversation as if no time had passed.
Oddly enough, by then, the explanation no longer mattered.
The experience had already shown me something profound:
Feelings can never come from another person.
How could they? Kasper and I hadn’t even met in person when I first felt a deep connection with the stories he shared; they were meaningful and touched something deep inside of me. What I was experiencing was created within my own consciousness — through the Principle of Thought, brought to life by the Principle of Consciousness.
Understanding this didn’t make me cold or detached. Quite the opposite. It made me more open to love, with no attachment to any particular outcome!
Nearly a year after we first began texting, we finally met in person halfway between our homes — in the very town where I grew up. The meeting felt strangely familiar, warm, and effortless. We talked, touched hands, kissed each other’s cheeks, and looked into one another’s eyes as though we already knew each other.
Nothing dramatic happened.
And yet, something deeply meaningful did.
Afterward, sitting quietly before driving home, I realized something surprising:
I’m more interested in loving, than in being loved.
Being loved depends on another person’s capacity to access and express love through the noise of their own thinking — their fears, expectations, judgments, conditioning, and misunderstandings.
But loving? Loving is free.
“If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.” ~ Sydney Banks
That understanding has given me a completely different relationship with my experience of life including connection with another human.
Kasper still texts me occasionally:
“Hello beautiful.”
And sometimes I miss him. And then I remember that I’m not missing him I’m missing the feeling of connection — a feeling that has always existed within me.
That’s the miracle.
Connection is always possible because the capacity for love already lives inside us.
After seven decades on this planet, I’ve seen how often life’s disappointments become the doorway to deeper wisdom. The experiences we resist most, sometimes become the very things that wake us up to something larger.
Whatever happens next with Kasper doesn’t really matter.
I remain grateful.
He unintentionally became a muse, and one of my earth angels — not because he completed me, but because the experience helped me see more clearly that love was never missing in the first place. Since it comes from me I’m the guardian of it; I alone decide how much I will give of it and how much I will withhold it.
And perhaps that’s what freedom really is:
Having so little judgment of life that experience can move through you like air through an open window.
Curiosity, is the doorway to connection.
That realization changed everything.
Kasper and I had shared deep conversations, and naturally I would have preferred for them to continue. But when the communication stopped, I noticed I wasn’t suffering the way I once would have. I wasn’t trying to “let go.” I simply wasn’t creating painful stories about it in my own mind.
That surprised me.
It felt like my old overthinking brain had quietly disappeared overnight.
Months later, I sent him a dramatic black-and-white marathon photo I knew he’d appreciate. He responded immediately. As it turned out, life had simply pulled him elsewhere for a while. We slipped back into regular conversation as if no time had passed.
Oddly enough, by then, the explanation no longer mattered.
The experience had already shown me something profound:
Feelings can never come from another person.
How could they? Kasper and I hadn’t even met in person when I first felt deeply connected to him. What I was experiencing was created within my own consciousness — through Thought, brought to life by Consciousness itself.
Understanding this didn’t make me cold or detached. Quite the opposite. It made me more open to a future experience of romantic love; with him or someone else.
Nearly a year after we first began texting, we finally met in person halfway between our homes — in the very town where I grew up. The meeting felt strangely familiar, warm, and effortless. We talked, touched hands, kissed each other’s cheeks, and looked into one another’s eyes as though we already knew each other.
Nothing dramatic happened.
And yet, something deeply meaningful did.
Afterward, sitting quietly before driving home, I realized something surprising:
I’m more interested in loving than in being loved.
Being loved depends on another person’s capacity to access and express love through the noise of their own thinking — their fears, expectations, judgments, conditioning, and misunderstandings.
But loving? Loving is free.
Dawning Realization:
What I had learned about the inside-out nature of life experience, deepened even further:
I realized I’m more interested in the act of loving than in chasing love from others.. Loving someone feels liberating — free from judgment or expectation.
Being loved depends on someone else’s capacity to feel and express it, which can be clouded by thoughts of judgment, expectations, and past experiences.
True love is unbinding and free of ego.
The power of letting go, cherishing the present, and understanding that connection is always possible because love originates within ourselves.
We can’t feel other people’s thoughts — they live in their minds, we live in ours.
Every feeling we experience is the direct result of our own thoughts that we believe to be true.
Self-confidence is built-in. It’s part of our ‘human design’, so to speak. Since our roots are spiritual, it’s only our acquired human thoughts that can cover it up.
In the end, my connection with Kasper became less about him as a person and more about a spiritual realization: the energy of love flows through every human being. It’s up to us to embrace it for what it truly is.
Love is a beautiful feeling even unrequited love, it doesn’t need to be returned; there’s nothing more beautiful than feeling love and connection — why not allow it to flourish?
*Life looks better and becomes easier, for those of us who became curious about the “inside out” nature of how life is experienced.
If you are curious too, you can find out more by joining my newsletter: “It’s An Inside-Out Affair” on the bottom of this page: which includes periodic bits of inspiration and invitations to upcoming events, such as “Deep Listening,” scheduled for June 9, 2026. Since that is coming up around the corner, you can complete the short contact form and ask for the zoom link for the webinar on June 9: Deep Listening.
This would all have sounded woo woo to me, in my not too distant past, but having been on this planet for seven decades I’ve seen: not only in my own life, but in my client’s lives as well, how much our previous experiences mostly the not so good, and even bad, experiences, contributed to some future, seemingly miraculous realization that would never have occurred to us otherwise.
Whatever will be, will be. That’s how energy moves… we’re not in charge.
Having zero judgment is like zero gravity, both offer unlimited potential and complete freedom.
If something resonated with you please share your insights in the comments whether it’s a similar experience you’ve had with romance or in business, or any realization that surprised you, I’d love to read about it, and shared insights can also be useful to other readers.
