We Are Not Who We Think We Are; We Are Limitless Potential
Why is it that, with all the rhetoric I've grown up with, i.e. we are all the same, we come from the same source, the color of our blood is the same, etc. etc. why do we still live in a world of bigotry and racism? It defies logic. Racism, bigotry and inequality are not logical.
Image by Felicia Buitenwerf
This blog was published in Healer’s Magazine you can see the article here
Whenever confounding events of blatant bigotry and racism come to my mind during a discussion or newscast, I feel it in my gut. It seems to take over my entire being. It is horrifying to witness vengeance of any kind, much less the hate filled actions we have witnessed recently.
I am left with the question: Why is it that, with all the rhetoric I've grown up with, i.e. we are all the same, we come from the same source, the color of our blood is the same, etc. etc. why do we still live in a world of bigotry and racism? It defies logic.
Racism, bigotry and inequality are not logical. There is nothing rational about hatred toward a group of people. I know that thoughts are not always logical yet we are conscious of what we think, logical or not, we can't help that - it is called the human condition, and it is what gives us an experience of life, in every moment, from birth to death. We can't help the fact that all the thoughts we have look real to us. I am referring to the thoughts that bubble up to our consciousness, not thoughts that we purposely think. So then, why would we stop to question our misinformed experience, given that it looks real and true to us?
For people who grow up around racism and bigotry and any degree of inherently hierarchical thinking that appears real, there is nothing to question. I was lucky. It so happened that my first friend in kindergarten was black. Her name was Ivy and I have fond memories of her. Our skin color difference seemed irrelevant. It was just different, to my little mind. It didn't mean anything about who she was as a person. As I write this, it occurs to me that some of my best friends throughout life have been people of color; coincidentally or not, they are among the most educated, smartest, most caring people I know. You can make what you’d like of that; to me, it means that a person’s true character has absolutely nothing to do with their race.
I’m sure that I have other biases of which I am unaware. We all have thinking that is in our blind-spot, where we don't realize it is our thinking because it appears to be reality. The current comparison of racism to COVID-19 sticks with me:
"Assume you have it, listen to the professionals, and don't spread it." It is a good idea to accept our human frailties and be humble enough to look within so we can uncover our blind-spots and be grateful when someone notices them and points them out to us.
As awful as the recent events have been, I feel some good has come of it. Collectively, we have become more aware of the underbelly of society. Hatred, bigotry, racism and bias are so much more prevalent than I’ve heretofore observed or realized.. Perhaps this means that humanity is finally ready to really, address what is in their blind spots—is the Black life the new gay marriage? Is the next major breakthrough in American civil rights upon us?
Another question comes to mind: what makes it possible for one person to empathize with another, whether that person is being mistreated, or is mistreating others?
How can we further understand how our biases develop, and how the human mind develops these blind-spots?
I feel that it is valuable to have an in-depth understanding of the role that personal thought has on our experience of life. In addition to providing a solid foundation for any program on bias, it would serve to further enhance the application of that program. It would also help people look more deeply at their own biases and alleviate judgement of others’, before attempting to change their mind. Minds change naturally for people who truly understand how it works. The video link at the end of the next paragraph is an example of how that happens, from the inside-out - i.e., change comes from within.
The fact that anyone can join doesn’t detract from how fortunate I feel to be a member of a global non-profit called 3PGC. The purpose of this organization is to share an understanding of mind, thought and consciousness; three principles that help people live their best life in an ever evolving manner, and take affirmative action to continually wake up and become more conscious of their blind-spots. Sitting in a conference sponsored by this organization, I heard from an ex-prisoner who had thought he was a "career criminal" that he had no choice in life but to use people for what he could get from them. He assumed that was who he was, period. While in prison he learned that he is not what he thinks and he woke up to the fact that he has unlimited potential. His perception of life and people changed so much that he now sees how to help people rather than take from them. He is employed by the same organization that helped him see life so differently, with fresh eyes. Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought he'd be speaking in front of 1,000 people at a world-wide conference and receive a standing ovation. His name is Dave and you can see an interview with him on Insightful Conversations..
Another organization, One Solution, is helping wake people up to their misguided thinking. The place to start is within each one of us. Assume you have it, look within, and question your assumptions.
Also, of interest: What is the impact of racism on mental health?
If you would like to learn more about the workings of the three principles of: consciousness, thought and mind, please contact me here.
Mental Well-being; The Key to Everything
We have all been tested over the past months; some physically, others mentally and spiritually, as we attempt to make sense of a pandemic. I notice my thoughts jumping from wondering how we will get through this to hoping for a healthier planet to compassion for those who are experiencing sickness and lost loved ones; back and forth, in no particular order.
We have all been tested over the past months; some physically, others mentally and spiritually, as we attempt to make sense of a pandemic. I notice my thoughts jumping from wondering how we will get through this to hoping for a healthier planet to compassion for those who are experiencing sickness and lost loved ones; back and forth, in no particular order.
Through it all I witness an intangible sweetness behind the human spirit as people reach out to one another to lend a hand and assist in any way they can. A friend of mine has sewn face masks, made of silk, for a group of us. Another friend, living in a retirement community, has asked for a list of people who could use her assistance with grocery shopping.
Standing in line at my local Trader Joe's, I am reminded of the many unsung and often unseen heroes that walk among us everyday. An employee had painted a line on the sidewalk marking six feet between shoppers. Each line had different colorful sayings painted above it (i.e, celebrate our healthcare workers, celebrate our warehouse workers, celebrate our taxi drivers, spread love not germs!) So many reminders of the strength and love of the human spirit!
I know I am not the only person to experience such a wide range of emotions. I also know that I have an advantage over many because of my exposure to an understanding about the human mind. I am not special however - this understanding is available to everyone, whether they realize it or not. Nature has gifted all of us with an innate sense of health and the ability to understand how to access our innate mental well-being regardless of situations or circumstances. This understanding about the human psyche is known as the Three Principles of innate health. I feel extraordinarily lucky for this, and grateful to have something so valuable to share with others. I have come to see that mental well-being is key to everything!
I have noticed this fact in my own life as well as in my clients’ lives. Dr. Bill Petit, or Dr. Bill as he has come to be known, is a psychiatrist in Phoenix, Arizona. He offers an eight week online course called, The Mind, Brain, Body, Behavior Connection. You can access the course here. It’s a fascinating course:
He makes the connection between the spiritual understanding shared by the late Sydney Banks, and medical science; and how the 3 Principles of Mind, Thought and Consciousness are at the foundation of both. These principles have been rippling throughout the world ever since, in such diverse fields as psychiatry, education, business, community development, and medicine. You will see evidence of this in the resources below.
He compares this discovery to recent discoveries in physics as well.
He reminds us that a relaxed mind is a healthy mind. This promotes physical health, endurance and resilience.
He points out that chronic stress is the norm for so many they don’t even realize they are acting under the influence of the thinking that stress generates.
Because of what I learned from Sydney Banks and mentors sharing what they learned from him, I am forever grateful to know that:
I don’t need to be afraid of my experiences, regardless of the thoughts that are flowing through me.
I don’t have to judge them, resist them, or take them seriously. Yes, some thoughts are more pleasant to experience than others, but knowing that all thoughts are transitory and will naturally pass on their own accord helps me ride out any thought-storm.
I live in the “feeling of my thinking” - every thought we have has a feeling tagging along with it, whether we know that or not. Even though I can’t control the thoughts that pop into my head, I do have the free-will to pay attention to the thoughts that will benefit myself and others and let the rest go.
I am innately resilient; I will survive and thrive, regardless of circumstances or situations.
All of this “knowing” is on a deeper level beyond the intellect. It's not something I need to practice; there are no strategies or techniques to perform, only an understanding of the workings of the mind.
Since the mind is not a physical thing; it is the formless spiritual energy that powers the brain which is physical. Because it is formless energy, understanding the mind can only come from insight; from taking time to look within oneself. It is helpful to take this inner journey with a guide or mentor who has done the same. Here is a list of mentors around the world: https://3pgc.org/practitioner-directory/ I would be happy to be your mentor on this journey whether you live near my office or not. We can easily work together on a HIPAA compliant video or phone platform.
The rewards of this understanding are truly beyond imagination. It's like being given a lifetime key to mental well-being, regardless of external circumstances. Knowing how to access unlimited mental well-being keeps people free of chronic anxiety, depression, and stress. We’ve known for a long time the toll that chronic stress takes on our physical health and our immune system.
I have found the best way to share this understanding is by immersion in a retreat setting over a period of 3 - 7 days. This can be accomplished in a number of ways by:
An “in-home retreat” from the comfort of your own home on a computer screen. It's best to unplug from your typical routine so you have time and space to quiet your mind.
A “hotel retreat”. If your home life isn't conducive to an educational retreat (i.e. young children or other demands at home) then consider staying at a nearby hotel and be seen at my local office in West Hartford.
Attend one of our retreats in the Caribbean. The next one is scheduled for Nov 14 - Nov 20.
Everyone has the ability to access their innate mental well-being more often, from which we are all more understanding, compassionate, resourceful, creative, productive, motivated and more loving. Please avail yourself of the following resources - you can create a retreat of your own!
Resources:
3 Principles for Human Development
New Day Dawning!
A new day is dawning with a fresh look! I know that's hard to imagine given the Pandemic we find ourselves currently in, and through no fault of our own. As I have experienced my first week of social distancing, My hope is that it will help my readers going through their own thoughts and emotions about it all.
I love this quote by Mr Sydney Banks in The Missing Link: Mind, Consciousness and Thought are the 3 principles that allow us to acknowledge and respond to existence - that one sentence says it all to me while explaining the full array of human nature and how differently people can experience life!
A new day is dawning with a fresh look! I know that's hard to imagine given the Pandemic we find ourselves currently in, and through no fault of our own. There's been so much written about this new virus strain lately that, frankly, I had no interest in contributing more in that direction. But as I have experienced my first week of social distancing, I find that I have much to write about. My hope is that it will help my readers going through their own thoughts and emotions about it all.
At first, I was annoyed at the fact that I had to postpone a Retreat in the Caribbean that I had planned for over six months, and looked forward to for weeks. Just two days before my scheduled departure, the news broke about not allowing people, from certain countries, back into the US. Up to that point I had been doing a lot of wishful thinking telling myself: the virus doesn't like warm climates, JFK will never be safer to walk through with all of their hygienic procedures in place, and the planes will be empty. I told myself it's the safest place to be; until I read this post by a colleague I have the utmost respect for, Judy Sedgeman: It was one of those light-bulb moments when I realized I really should not be boarding any plane unless it was an emergency! If I am a carrier without symptoms, I could infect others. If I get sick while I’m there what medical care would I have? What if I’m not allowed back in the United States? Wishful thinking morphed into common sense practicality. I’ve learned what wisdom feels like: settled and obvious once it’s heard.
It turned out that all parties agreed. It was so simple to switch gears as soon as a piece of wisdom broke through my wishful thinking.
When I realized that personal thinking had almost tripped me up again, beyond a humble face palm 😅moment, I became quite thankful to have been saved by the bell. Wisdom has a way of feeling like bells going off in my head, often followed by an imaginary face palm.
Many hopeful things have developed since then, and this is not wishful thinking this time; as verified by this article a dear friend forwarded to me and this one!
Every day is feeling more like Sunday to me. Sunday is the day I set aside to be in touch with family and friends. Sunday is the day I let myself off the hook about getting to the gym. I simply go if I want to and take a day off, if I prefer – I allow myself to exercise free will and it feels so good. Business calls go on a To-Do list for the following week, since many businesses are closed on Sunday anyway! I found that many of those calls come through to me when I sit back knowing it doesn't have to get done today, they wind up calling me first; like my optometrist calling to postpone my next week's appointment until April. That wasn't even on my "to do" list. I am realizing how much more I can relax about taking care of the stuff of life, not realizing the stress I put myself through on a daily basis trying to keep up! Trying to keep up with what? The imaginary life I've managed to box myself into. Not that my workaday life has been bad. I've enjoyed it tremendously, except the moments when I try to get too much done in a day!
A new day is dawning! We’re being offered more time to reflect. To go inside ourselves and look for wisdom to guide us through this adjustment/inconvenience/struggle/fear/uncertainty…..if we can think it, we’ll feel it!
I have been working with clients on a HIPAA compliant online platform from the comfort of our own homes and obviously at a safe social distance! I've not put make-up on or fixed my hair. I wouldn't be caught dead looking like this in my office building or anywhere else in public! The freedom cannot compare! LOL Of course the make-up hair thing is also a figment of my imagination sprinkled with a good dose of “societal norms.”
The retreat that was supposed to happen this week, turned into an intensive with an overseas couple online. Which is working out beautifully. And we have the opportunity to regroup in November, the 14th - 20th to be exact. And furthermore, my brilliant and delightful friend and colleague, Del Adey-Jones is able to join me that week. You can visit Del's radio show "Insightful Conversations" here: Del is a 3 Principles Coach who has a deep understanding of dysfunctional thinking and behavior that gets caught in peoples’ blind spots. She lived it and saw how to rise above it through her understanding of Universal Principles to experience her own transformation; and the people around her transformed as well. I like to call it the ripple effect. So, save the date and look for more information soon, it will be a wonderful retreat whether you have in the past or currently experience difficulty in your life. What we will share with you can be applied to any situation.
I realize that I am in a unique situation, I can work from home on a HIPAA compliant tele-med video session. I’m very grateful for this technology.
I’m aware that many will experience a decrease in income, or for some, a total loss of work. Some will use their free time as a stay cation relinquishing their getaway dreams, for now. Some will suffer with fear, others will see opportunities, hopefully not at the expense of others though! Some will gain a fresh outlook and see a new day dawning. All of us are being brought to our knees in some way, shape, or form. Our saving grace is that we each have the power to choose wisely whether we live in fear or hope for a better tomorrow.
So often, in my past, I have found that the things that appeared to be the most awful in my life turned into unexpected gifts. We can never predict what the future will hold.
I'm grateful for warmer weather, and the new buds of Spring. I'm avoiding gym classes and taking walks in my local park. Loads of people were there enjoying nature and clean air; confident they would have enough distance from others. We can still smile and say hello. So, there's no need to isolate; it's a good excuse to get out and walk. Just be mindful of retaining 6 ft between you and another person.
I want to share some things I have found to be very helpful:
I will leave off with a quote from my very wise primary care physician: “Our wish for you is that you will remain positive, safe, and hopeful. Find three things every day that you are grateful for. Breath in the spring air. Hug your household members extra tight. Stay connected with your family and friends via Face-time, Skype, etc. Check in on your elderly neighbors, Pray, meditate, and keep moving. I look forward to the day, down the road a bit, when we look back on this experience and see all of the blessings that were hidden in the chaos. “
May you have peace and good health in the days and weeks ahead.
Please send an email to: lori@3principlestherapy.com if you would like to set up an online session, or attend a group session on Thursday evenings at 6:30 PM EDT or a Young Adult group on Tuesday evenings at 7:30 PM, and you will receive an invitation to connect via Clocktree.
I also love this quote by Mr. Banks from The Missing Link: Mind, Consciousness and Thought are spiritual gifts that enable us to see creation and guide us through life.
Listening to Connect
I had an interesting dream just before waking up today. It seemed to beg for reflection and sure enough I saw something a little deeper, about listening in a way that connects people, than ever before. I had to write about my discovery.
I had an interesting dream just before waking up today. It seemed to beg for reflection and sure enough I saw something a little deeper, about listening in a way that connects people, than ever before. I had to write about my discovery.
This was my little vignette while still asleep: A friend (I don’t know who) teases me about the contents in the trunk of my car. The seasons seem to go so fast so even though I’ve had to add ice scrapers and non-freezing window washer, I’ve not removed my tennis racket and balls (which I think I used twice last summer) there are four or five different purses in the event I have a last-minute dinner out or a cocktail hour at a gallery or local café; one never knows what life will present – I think that happened maybe two times in the past year. There are sneakers and dancing shoes (I believe I have three pairs in there) just in case. Now, I did remove my beach chairs and beach bag from last summer, so I’m not totally crazy. What really stood out to me is that I got defensive. In the dream, I am adamant about explaining why I carry each item, as if to say: “Give me a break,” and I like that I am a bit eccentric, anyway!
I’ve realized along my life’s journey that it is silly, if not crazy, to get defensive about ANY THING since it is always the speaker’s perception of what’s happening.
Life became ever so much easier for me, when I stopped taking things personally. It’s not that I talk myself into not taking things personally, it’s that I learned, through my understanding of how the 3 Principles work within all of us, that it is never about me personally, it’s about the speaker’s perceptions, interpretations and assumptions that are colored by their mood in the moment . That understanding allows me to listen fully without my own thinking in the way. If I listen for how the person feels, where s/he is coming from, I will feel connected to them, even if they are criticizing me! In the past when I would take it personally I would feel the opposite; I would feel quite disconnected.
I’d much prefer to feel connected than feel disconnected. I noticed that when I took things personally, it never, ever, rewarded me in any way, shape, or form. What a blessing to see the truth of the Principles, showing us that life comes through us - not at us. It makes a huge difference in life. Since we always experience our own thinking, of course we all want to experience less stressful thinking rather than more stressful thinking! The only way to understand how it works, is to look within your own mind. Reading this blog might make sense to you on an intellectual level, but to really see the truth of it and to experience the impact it has on your life, you have to see how the power to think plays out in your life, and everyone else’s life, as well - since I’m describing the result of Principles, (in this case: Mind, Consciousness and Thought) it is true for everyone. Functional Principles are true for everyone.
That reminds me of a quote by the late Sydney Banks, “Look within, there you will find the answers.” And after thirty some odd years of listening to Mr. Banks’ lectures, in person, in his podcasts and tapes, I’d never heard it to this level of depth before. Others whose lives have been touched by their understanding of the Principles also say that understanding them always has a positive impact that deepens over time. I have found the same to consistently be true.
So with that said - what are you waiting for? Why not give yourself the gift of exploration. This is a good place to start; check out this library. Tons of research and resources for your listening and reading pleasure -- and then jump into the Retreat that Laurie Holmes and I are facilitating in North Carolina in October. I know you will be so happy you decided to explore with us! Retreats are a wonderful way to go deep inside yourself and with guidance from 3 Principles practitioners, you will also see what we have found to be true and extraordinarily helpful in our own lives.