Lori Carpenos & Associates

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Love Versus Fear


Does the title sound like a match between two opposing teams? Which one will overcome the other, which will succeed, and what has to happen for Love to succeed — isn’t that everyone’s favorite?

Have you been in a situation, or maybe you are currently, where Fear seems to be winning?

Let’s have a closer look:

What is there to fear about falling in love, or loving too much once we’ve already fallen?

Could it be:

  • The fear of losing what we cherish most?

  • The fear of being taken advantage of

  • The fear of not being good enough

  • The fear of losing freedom

  • The fear of intimacy

  • The fear of not finding the right person, or being with the right person, for us

  • The fear of finding something we don’t like about the person we fell in love with and what could happen then?

  • The fear of discovering that we don’t really deserve the beautiful feelings of love?

There’s probably an infinite number of things we could fear. The trick is to understand how fear is created and what we can do about it.

What would cause a FEAR to sneak up on us:

  • Previous conditioning from something that happened to us in the past

  • Something someone said to us that stuck

  • A belief we hold onto because we think that it’s true

  • The idea that someone will judge us for loving too much or loving the wrong person.

But Wait…

What if we knew a secret about life and lived accordingly; as though there was never a good reason to fear falling deeply in love, with life, with ourselves, or with another person?

What if we knew that we could completely let ourselves go, head over heels while keeping ourselves and others, completely safe, no matter how it turned out?

What if we knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are always being protected even if the person we felt completely and totally in love with were to vanish into thin air, or tell us they found someone else they want to be with more, and we knew that we’d be okay because we understood that meant it was for our better good, even when it didn’t look that way at first?

Would you risk more and give more of yourself and allow yourself to love more fully than ever before if you knew this to be true?

Here’s a metaphor for you:

When a tree falls in the forest it becomes fertile ground for new growth. Have you ever seen one fallen log become the host for countless life forms? Is it possible that this is also the truth of who we are? We are part of nature, even though we never asked to be.

​What if you had absolutely no fear of judgment, if a relative, or your partner, or the person you want approval from the most, judged you negatively in some way? What if it didn’t have a negative effect on you because you knew it was that person’s perspective, it was coming from their conditioned way of thinking about things and had nothing to do with your true essence.

Wouldn’t that be freeing?

What would your life be like if you never called up judgment about another person? Or if it were to sneak into your consciousness and you were present enough to not give it any energy; how would that enhance your life?

What if all of this was the natural result of a simple understanding of how life really works — through us, rather than to us, and it was available for everyone to realize; not as something to live by, because that would require a belief that would come and go in different moods and states of mind, but a knowing that ran so deep that fear didn’t make sense anymore?

How would your life be different?

What if we are part of the formless energy of love being expressed through a physical form, that is you, me, and every human being? We are pure love being expressed — until we get in the way, by thinking ourselves into a fearful stupor.

Does it ever make sense to hold ourselves back?

Does it make sense to get in the way of the free-flowing energy of love?

After all, this energy is unbounded, unless we bind it up with the stories we tell ourselves and believe to be true.

LOVE Will Guide Us:

See what you notice about your unintentional, personal fears, that can block the truth of love unbounded. See if that realization is the doorway to creating deeper connections, greater emotional intimacy, openness, and vulnerability — which is what we call soul connections.

And there is an online course for single people here, based on the book, The Secret of Love.